Of course, this is easier said than done if you have kids to look after, for example, but if you can set aside a day or two to just do nothing where you can be alone with your thoughts, you can start to clear your mind and experience each moment as it’s happening. When was the last time you just did nothing? I don’t mean sitting in front of the TV playing games on your phone in the evening. Design a day with no plans and no distractions ![]() After all, nothing is easy and there are always bumps on the road. The way to do this is to start being more realistic with what you can expect from people and certain situations. However, if you can manage your expectations, you’ll be able to live in the moment more easily. It’s impossible to get rid of all your expectations because that’s just how people are wired. Whilst I don’t think you should settle for things when you expect better, it seems important to at least manage your expectations. I usually find that the higher my expectations are, the more I feel unsatisfied with reality. Whilst it’s difficult sometimes to calm yourself down if you can, you’ll get better at controlling yourself and in turn will find it easier to become more present. However, fretting over the things you cannot control will only send your thoughts spiralling into chaos.įor example, if you miss your train, it’s obviously not a nice feeling but it is something you must accept or you’ll work yourself up and begin to over worry. Of course, it’s natural to want to change things so they are better and in my experience, that’s okay if the things you want to change are in your control. Accept things for how they areīeing present involves accepting things for how they are, not how you want them to be. However, if you can just limit your usage or leave yours at home from time to time, I think you’ll feel relieved from not always being so accessible to everyone. Of course, cell phones aren’t going anywhere and I don’t want them to. In my opinion, if you get out of that mindset, and just enjoy what is in front of you for what it is, you’ll quickly be on your way to being more present. I find it really sad when I watch people at football matches filming the game on their phone, a video that they’ll probably never watch back anyway. Worst still, every single everyday situation are now photo or video opportunities. Whilst your body is physically there, your mind is largely not. Their mind is partially preoccupied with the notion that they may get a message for example. Whilst this is helpful sometimes, it also creates situations where the person opposite you isn’t really listening to you at all. What I mean by that is, I can use my phone to escape from my present moment. It seems the whole time I have my phone on me, I’m giving myself an ‘out’ of my current situation anytime I want. However, I understand their ability to be destructive. After all, they’re what I use to express myself creatively. Sometimes I feel like I bash technology too much but the truth is, I love my tech. ![]() If your mind is always further down the road, how can you enjoy today? this hour? this minute? this moment in time? Is this second right now not as valuable? After all, this moment right now is all that exists. Tomorrow is uncertain and not guaranteed. We tell ourselves that “there’s always tomorrow,” as if tomorrow will somehow bring better days that today. Sometimes today is too painful to confront. We’re always yearning for tomorrow to avoid the mundaneness or sometimes even pain of today. We’re always thinking of the next ‘thing’ of planning our next exciting escape. 2020 taught me that we spend most of our lives coasting, even when we feel as if we’re in control of what we’re doing. ![]() Not just pretending to be present, but truly, intentionally and whole-heartedly present. Why being present is importantĮven with the naked clarity that came with that time, I began to understand the importance of being present. I think that is so valuable to at least try, especially in a world where people are supposedly becoming more anxious and depressed. Still, I think it’s important to try and be more present, even if you do find yourself easily distracted. With the way our lives are structured with work and responsibilities, it’s a tough ask. However, for most of us, I think it’s unlikely you can be 100% present. I’m sure with prolonged meditation you can reach a place where you are fully present. There’s a whole host of things pulling at your attention constantly. It sounds simple enough but it’s much harder in practical terms. Being present is being fully in the moment without physical or mental distraction.
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